Category Archives: humor

Warning to Tall People OR 3 Reasons NOT to Stand Up Straight


HiResSTAND UP STRAIGHT!

When I was young, I was tall for my age. But I always slumped my shoulders (more on this later). So adults were always saying “stand up straight; throw your shoulders back.” Aside from the fact that it was painful to do (Reason one), I had a greater concern.

No one tall has ever told me to stand up straight. That made me suspicious. It’s always been short-people-who-WANT-to-be-tall who told me to straighten up.

Like my company commander in boot camp. He was 4′ 1” and always bounced on his toes trying to be 4’4″, yelling at the top of his lungs for us to stand up straight when we stood at attention (here we go again). Then he’d come to you, nose to belly-button and looking straight up at me ask, “Are you looking DOWN ON ME maggot?.” Believe me, it’s nothing but pure hell to tell the truth in that situation.

But worse yet, standing straight causes you to be attentive. When you’re more attentive and you’re tall, you increase your “command presence.” This is very dangerous because . . . When you increase your command presence, you’re usually asked to LEAD something. Once you’re asked to lead something you have only two choices:

Make believe you can lead. We all know what that looks like (except for those trying to make believe they can lead). When you make believe you can lead, people catch on to you really quickly. And you either get promoted or you are disliked. In either place you’re always waiting for the shoe to drop. Knowing that you’ll soon be out of a job.

Make believe you can’t lead. When you make believe you can’t lead, you’re always hoping that the shoe will drop and you’ll escape from that job. In either situation, you’re not likely to have gained anything by standing up straight for the short people.

DANGERS OF GOING VIRAL

Inevitably, you will be encouraged by tall friends to write a blog post of your experiences as a tall leader that will go viral. If you write a blog post that goes viral you will be asked to speak places. Once you’re asked to speak places, you’ll have to write a book. Your book will open doors for you to speak more places and then you’ll be expected to be an “expert” on the topic. Unfortunately, the only thing you’re an expert on is resisting the temptation to stand up straight only you’ve already failed at that by now. Plus nobody likes a tall expert. Now that nobody likes you . . .

You’ll be asked to join a panel on FOX business news and your new writing, speaking, and interviewing schedule will have you totally stressed out. So Dr. Phil hears about you and invites you to tell the world the answer to the question “How’s that working for you?”

You go around now telling tall kids not to stand up straight and their parents are ripping mad. So they contact Bill O’Reilly. He sends Jesse Waters out to interview you. Wait till you get on O’Reilly’s show and see how tall he is. He won’t be happy with the example you’re living for America’s youth and you’ll be persona-non-grata at Fox. Now you’ll be embraced by the left. If you’re left, that’s good. If you’re right, then you’ll be wrong.

BACK WHERE YOU STARTED

Oh, another reason not to lead is that you delegate. And when you delegate it’s easy to avoid. And when you avoid, you’re considered conceited. Then you lose more friends. You become distracted from your focus as a leader. Then you start to digress in thought and conversations. People notice your digression and you’re no longer invited to speak anywhere. So you slump over in discouragement. Now you’re right back where you started with your short mother telling you “stand up straight.”

Unfortunately, you’ve long ago resigned from your day job to pursue your career of being a viral blogger, speaker, and expert. And who knows where that will end up.

You get my point . . .

© 2015 by David C Alves
iStock photo used by permission

Dear Readers & New Look for “David’s Place”


Wanted to give all my friends and readers a heads-up.

THEME CHANGE

I want to give you the best and easiest reading experience possible. I’ll be changing the look of my blog-site within the next couple of weeks (perhaps sooner). Don’t want you to be surprised when I do.

I hope you’ll like the new look and feel. Please take the time to comment once the change is made. Love to know what you think.

FOCUS

In addition, I thought it might be good to tell you about my focus here. I know that I’ve somewhat covered it in my ABOUT page, but not many people go to a blogger’s about page.

As someone on a spiritual journey to know God better, I write posts that I would like to read. Sometimes they’re on writing, or perhaps a review of a good book. Sometimes I simply need a laugh and post something humorous. I also post cultural warning signs so that fellow travelers will not be hurt along the path. Because foster care and adoption played a part in my childhood, I also write about that. And occasionally I post a devotional thought or journal entry from my various journals. My “How-to’s” seem to draw the most readers. Well . . . you get it. I intentionally mix it up–writing what I like reading.

CONTENT

Posting on a multiplicity of topics can prove frustrating for someone who’s looking for “a brand.” If you need a brand to subscribe to and follow my blog, check “categories” to filter my posts OR let it be this:

LOVE, LIFE, & ENCOURAGEMENT ALONG THE JOURNEY

I suppose that would be the sum of the parts.

FOLLOW

If anything in that brand appeals to you, then please follow my blog by either the follow button (if you’re on WordPress, signing up for email notifications, or subscribing to my post on Kindle.

COMMENTS

Though it’s not a requirement to read here. I would really appreciate it too if you would take the time to comment too so that we can develop a community. I know you’re busy, but it’s really great when I go to a site and follow discussions. They sometimes enlarge or enhance the author’s post. I’ve been helped by them as well.

THANKS

Well that’s about it. Thanks SO MUCH that you’ve read this far. And thanks for being a valued reader here at “David’s Place.” I appreciate your time and consider it a treasure.

BLESSINGS,

TVtastebuddies: How to Eat Sunflower Seeds


This is a little something that me, Roland, and Floyd decided to produce. We needed some humor in our lives and also wanted to try to learn more about YouTube and video production. So we decided to capitalize on something all three of us have experience with here’s the result:

You may (or may not) want to “Like” TVtastebuddies on Facebook too. Please share with your friends. Can we go viral? Not sure what that means, but guess it means lots of viewers?

John 10:27 – Jesus Still Speaks Today?


No wonder a theology has developed that thinks Jesus doesn’t communicate with us today.

A Really Bad Work Day


Ever had a REALLY BAD work day? Be thankful! . . . it was nothing compared to this guy’s. . . .

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